A word some of us struggle to express and especially when times are challenging – really challenging. Like now.
Gratitude is the quality of being thankful, being ready to show appreciation for and to return kindness. The definition speaks of ‘getting outside’ oneself and challenging us to recognise goodness, simple joys and others.
It is a connector word – connecting us to others, to the world around us. We need more connection right now.
What gets in the way? Our brains are wired for negativity. It is part of our survival to focus on things that have gone wrong or could go wrong. And what is happening now it is difficult not to see the plethora of negativity impinging on our lives. Noticing the things to be thankful for can be really hard.
Dr. Rick Hanson, neuroscientist and mindfulness teacher, says that we should pause and actively take in the positive things that are around us, several times a day, for 10-20 seconds at a time. This means devoting maybe 5-10 minutes spread out over each day thinking about positive things and expressing gratitude. If we do this, we are shaping our brain to take in more goodness and joy and make it easier for these experiences to have a positive impact on our wellbeing.
In one study looking at gratitude conducted at the University of California and University of Miami participants were assigned to 3 different groups. One group was asked to journal each week things they were grateful for, another group recording what was hassling them or getting them down and the third group recorded neutral events – neither particularly positive or negative. After 10 weeks the gratitude group said they felt 25% better and had exercised an average of 1.5 hours more.
In another study participants were asked to show gratitude each day. Higher levels of demonstrated gratitude were subsequently associated with better sleep, lower levels of anxiety and depression.
When I work with clients struggling with addiction, gratitude is an important part of the recovery puzzle. Clients are asked to record and to express gratitude. For many who have lost almost everything or everyone finding gratitude is hard work, but it becomes easier. Time and time again it supports building long term recovery. And it is part of the 12-step recovery process for some clients.
As a CBT Therapist working with clients struggling with anxiety, depression, anger, deep hurt I advocate using gratitude to develop it into a daily habit. It really does help. People find it draws others in, it connects them back to those they may have pushed away it helps them to reconnect to themselves and to the world around them. Using gratitude as a technique doesn’t mean ignoring challenges or negative things. It is about helping to ensure negative things don’t overwhelm us and become our main focus.
What might all this mean if we bring gratitude into our daily lives and especially in these challenging, chaotic times? Enhanced positive feelings, more exercise, better sleep, lower levels of anxiety and depression and a way to help us out of unhelpful patterns of self-soothing or addiction. Sounds pretty powerful stuff?
As I look out of my window, I see a beautiful view over the city before me. There is an active bird’s nest to the left and a variety of birds flying around to the right. My partner has just brought me a cup of tea. I am healthy. My family is healthy. I have friends. I am living in a place with a good healthcare system. I am lucky and I am thankful for all of this. These are all simple joys. Writing them down makes me feel good and brings me happiness. This is gratitude. I need to do this every day.
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