These last months – and perhaps for several more to come – we have lived with restrictions and changes to our lives we didn’t anticipate and, in most cases, didn’t want. We have been thrown into a state of uncertainty pervading our lives bombarded with incessant messages about protection, keeping safe, keeping distant, keeping clean – all adding to micro anxiety. A study at Kings College London in late Spring 2020 showed that 2 in 5 people were reporting more vivid dreams – many associated with low level anxiety themes. Our bodies and our minds are in a state of alert.  When will it all end?

For some of clients (and on occasion myself!) there has been a sense of permanence about what is happening. There is a despair in not being able to do the things we love and the desire to have back the lives we left behind many months ago. There appears to be no route back.  But this time is not permanent and like all other times before it will pass, many things we love to do will be there for us and our lives will return mostly as they were before. However, I recognise that what is happening now is not how we want things to be.  But it is now and while it feels really frustrating and uncomfortable, we can tolerate it and manage through it.  It is bad but it is not the worst thing in the world.  For some it has been exceptionally challenging, upsetting and filled with loss. I want to acknowledge and encourage the incredible resilience of people and their ability to find ways to bear it, recover and thrive.

Finding a way back to thriving means acknowledging the discomfort, the loss AND our personal strength to work through it.  Among all the negative talk and the genuine loss, I hear and see real learning, discovery, unexpected joys and pride in new things or things rediscovered. It is through these intense challenges that we often learn and grow the most. Thriving can begin to grow even within really tough times.

For my clients (and myself) I have found it can help to shift the focus from stuckness and despair toward firstly acknowledging those feelings and human struggles and then being curious about how we are responding. These questions could help:

• What have you discovered about yourself?
• What things have you learned?
• What has been unexpected – good or bad?
• What do you do to keep grounded and build your resilience?
• What do you feel proud about?

I have discovered I feel more anxiety than I thought I had.  I have anxiety filled dreams after days without consciously noticing so much anxiety in my waking life.  This can be tiring, but I have learned to manage it creatively. Through it I have become more empathic with my clients.  I have had time to work on a new language – still work in progress – which can bring a sense of frustration and accomplishment within almost the same moment!  I have been surprised by the small joys I notice – reading more, connecting with a wider range of friends and worrying less about mundane things.  I go outside, rain or shine, every day, to walk or cycle and have returned to mindfulness practice.  And I feel proud that I have been able to collaborate to start a new business with a focus on well-being and mental wellness within a time of great need bringing a sense of purpose and meaning to me.

And for all that I have the pandemic to thank.   What have these times meant to you?  What meaning can they hold for you if you shift the lens? How can you get back to thrive?